Bereavement Support

The early days

When someone dies their death can be a major shock to those left behind, even when someone has been ill for some time. Shock may leave you feeling numb and everything can seem unreal. You may carry out practical tasks in a dream-like state. Alternatively, you may not be able to copy with any arrangements and require support from other people.

How bereavement may make you feel 

How you are feeling will depend upon your relationship with the person who has died and what they meant to you. This death may trigger memories and feelings of previous losses.

The following feelings are common in grief, although some people may feel nothing at all, this is also a sign of grief.

Anxiety

You may feel restless, panicky and develop physical signs such as headaches, stomach upset or a dry mouth. 

Anger

This may be directed against yourself, other people, or the person who has died. 

Guilt

You may feel you or other people did not do enough for the person who has died. The question “if only” may occupy your thinking.

You may feel initial relief that the person who has died is not suffering or that your role as a carer has ended.

Helpless and afraid

You may be fearful of how you are going to manage without the person who has died and what the future holds.

Unwell

Grief is exhausting and stressful and this may weaken your body’s defence systems and could make you feel unwell. You may not be able to sleep and not want to eat.

Resources

Not all of these feelings may be experienced, or they may come and go. Usually with the passing of time the pain lessens and the intensity of these feelings begins to slowly change. Family, friends, work and daily routine can all be part of a support network to help you through this difficult time.

Not all families are used to talking about feelings, they may seem preoccupied with their own grief. Sometimes it is helpful to discuss your grief with someone outside of your family so you may wish to access some of the following services.

Services for bereaved adults and children provided by the Wisdom Hospice

Trained bereavement counsellors are available to meet with you at the Wisdom Hospice or Goodyer House (also on High Bank). It is sometimes helpful to talk to someone about your loss and feelings being experienced and the changes that bereavement brings. 

Bereavement Support Group – for Adults

The group meets once a month for two hours in the afternoon from 2.30 – 4.30pm and is held in the Day Hospice. The group provides the opportunity for those attending to explore the impact of the early stages of grief in the group setting and the second part of the session is for general socialisation. The group is facilitated by the Bereavement Services Coordinator and a bereavement volunteer. (Attendance is limited to two years). Further information about the purpose of the group will be provided on request.

Holding on Letting Go

This is a charity for bereaved children. Young people and their families in Kent. Weekend grief support programmes are provided for children, young people and their parents/carers. For more information please contact info@holdingonlettinggo.org.uk or 08445 611 511.