Pat’s Story: A Life of Choice in Hospice Care
Interview conducted by Angeliki Tsanikidou
Pat, a patient at Wisdom Hospice
Choosing Hospice Care
I arrived at the hospice just after Christmas, following nearly four weeks in the hospital. It was my decision to come here. In the hospital, I was deteriorating quickly and knew I didn’t want chemotherapy or further treatment. I wanted to go naturally, focusing on comfort rather than extending life at any cost.
Hospitals prioritise treatment and prolonging life, often assuming that’s what patients want. Even after making it clear I didn’t want chemotherapy, they still asked me to reconsider. But I knew my choice: I wanted to live on my terms, in peace and dignity.
Hospice provides something hospitals can’t: choices. Small decisions, like when to take medication or what to eat, give a sense of control. These choices matter because they allow me to live how I want, even in my final days. We wouldn’t force a beloved pet through endless treatments just because we could; we would choose comfort and dignity. Why should it be different for humans?
The Emotional and Physical Impact of Hospice
Here, I feel at peace. I’m not afraid of sleep or what comes next because I’ve lived a full life. I’ve held my grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, and I’ve known both joy and loss. The idea of death doesn’t scare me because I’m surrounded by kindness and care.
When I was transferred from Medway Hospital, I feared I would never see my home streets again. But once I arrived here, everything changed. I realised I could still experience life. If I feel well enough, I can go out, see a play, or simply enjoy a day outside. Hospice isn’t about waiting to die; it’s about making the time you have meaningful.
Each day here begins with warmth. You wake up to a smile, a choice of breakfast, and friendly conversation. There is no sense of doom. When someone passes, there is sadness, but also peace, knowing they were cared for with love. The staff here give everything to their patients, ensuring they are comfortable until the very end. That knowledge gives me peace.
What Makes Hospice Care Different
Hospitals follow strict schedules; here, care is personal. If I don’t want dinner at the usual time and later feel hungry, someone makes me soup without hesitation. They don’t just hand me food and leave—they check in, they care. One day, while feeling low in the garden, a staff member brought me a beautifully arranged tea tray. It wasn’t just tea; it was a thoughtful gesture that made me feel special. These small acts of kindness make all the difference.
Even meals here are prepared with care, not just handed out in plastic trays like in hospitals. The staff notice when you’re having a hard day, and instead of just acknowledging it, they do something to bring comfort. That’s what real care is—not just treatment, but genuine kindness.
Hospice isn’t about extending life at any cost. It’s about making the life you have left worthwhile. That is what truly matters.
Leaving Hospice: A New Choice
I’m choosing to leave hospice because I feel well. If anything, I’m in a mini remission. I want to enjoy life differently while I can, and I don’t want to take a space that someone else might need more. My daughter helped me choose another place, and when she visited one facility, she told me, “Mum, they’re old people.” I laughed and said, “But I am old people.” She replied, “Yes, but they’re really old people—you wouldn’t fit in.” She’s right. I’ve always been active, and I want to keep living that way.
If my condition worsens, I know I can return. That reassurance gives me peace of mind. When I first arrived, I was in a terrible state. Twice in Medway Hospital, I nearly died. My family had to fight to get me the medication and procedures I needed. Coming here felt like my last chance, and at the time, I didn’t want anything—not even food. But now, I’m up, walking, and caring for myself. It gives me hope.
What Others Should Know About Hospice Care
The care here is truly special—it's care that listens, care that’s given with love and compassion. They genuinely hear what you want and need. And no matter how many times you ring that bell, whether it’s once or five times, the response is always the same. They come, they help, and they do so without delay.
You’re not left waiting for hours when you’re in pain or feeling desperate. Here, help comes in minutes—minutes that feel long, but minutes you can bear because you know relief is coming soon. That consistency, that reassurance, is what makes hospice care so remarkable.
I know I’m in safe hands. I know they are listening to me. And if you have a choice, if you want to feel truly cared for, this is the place. Whatever happens here, happens because it’s right—because it’s in my best interest.
Hospice is not about giving up; it’s about living well until the end.
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